Today marks my 8th wedding anniversary, I can’t believe I have been married for 8 years to my college sweetheart! I am so thankful for all of the fun moments and memories, as well as the hard times and difficulties.  We have been through college, more college, moving to Washington, moving to Kansas, buying a home, having babies, career changes, losing loved ones…  I could go on and on.  The beauty of marriage is that you have a partner to do life with.  Someone to lean on in hard times and someone to rejoice with in the good times.  Marriage is a beautiful gift.

Since today is my 8th wedding anniversary I wanted to share…               8 little gems I have learned in my 8 years of marriage.

Disclaimer: my marriage is not perfect… far from it actually.  But, we are fully committed to one another and do our best to love, serve, and respect one another on a daily basis.  

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::Put your marriage first.  When life throws a curve ball, or when babies arrive on scene, you must remain committed to putting your spouse above all else.    Mark 10:8 says that two will become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh.  I find comfort in knowing I am not called to be “one flesh” with anything else in this world – not my kids, not my  job, not my friends, not my wardrobe, etc.  Your marriage was there before anything else, and needs to be there when everything else is gone.  Click HERE to read more on putting your marriage first.

::Make your anniversary special… every year! It is a big day, that marks a very special promise.  Don’t let that day pass without spending time together, reminiscing on your wedding day and marriage thus far, and dreaming together about your future.  Maybe we’re boring, but we’ve allowed birthdays and other random holiday celebrations to become less meaningful/significant over time…. but our anniversary is one event my husband and I have decided to always cherish and celebrate… because in a culture that tends to tear marriages apart, another year in the books is worth celebrating!  Celebrate your covenant, and take intentional time to remember why you signed up for this thing called marriage in the first place!

::In the hard times, don’t give up.  When things get rocky or you feel like you are in different places, keep communicating and don’t give up.  Communication and persistence are key factors in successful and happy marriages!  Marriage isn’t always roses and champagne.  Let’s face it, marriage can be hard work.  Having a spouse that has committed to rowing the same boat in the same direction despite what the world throws at you is invaluable!  Through good times and bad, be a spouse that your spouse can depend on!

::Support one another.  My husband and I have many similar hobbies, but we are also good at supporting one another in hobbies we don’t share.  You are not expected to do everything together, and it’s ok and probably healthy if you don’t.  You did not marry your twin, and we all are bent towards different interests, hobbies, passions, aspirations, etc.  Learn to see your spouses desires and appreciate their efforts in that arena… BELIEF in your spouse is an incredibly powerful element in marriage.

::Be your spouses #1 cheerleader, especially in public.  One thing I have learned over the years is to verbally support my husband.  Even if you don’t agree with everything your spouse does, never talk down about them to others.  If you don’t have your spouses back, no one will.  It’s important to watch your ‘self-talk’ about your spouse, as this often leads to what you say about them in public.  Avoid gossip circles like the plague and let the words that come out of your mouth be genuine, encouraging, loving and kind.

::Dream BIG!  Couples that dream together, stay together.  Remember that you are one-flesh with your spouse, and in that, you are walking hand in hand in life as a married couple.  Plan out your future…  TOGETHER.  Dream big and set goals… TOGETHER.  As you accomplish those goals, take time to celebrate and then get busy setting new ones.  Building this type of momentum in your marriage will open many doors for your future!

::Have FUN together – Date your spouse on the regular.  This obviously gets harder once the kiddos join the family, but do what you have to do.  My husband and I are big fans of 2 date nights per month.  Date nights don’t always have to be glamorous or expensive, a decent bottle of wine and your favorite tv show on the love-seat classifies as date-night-in.  Dating is what you make of it.  If you both like to workout, make your daily sweat session a fun positive time together!  A key element of “dating” your spouse is being attentive to their needs, wants, desires, passions… and creating a life that supports those things.

::Serve each other.  Study your spouse and make it your goal to discover your spouses love language and then use their love language to love and serve them.  Embrace their love language, even if it is different than yours.  For my hubby, physical touch is the key to showing him love and respect.  Click HERE to learn more about love languages.  The longer you’ve known your spouse, you’ll tend to believe you already know everything about them… but you’ll be surprised what you can learn by making a conscious effort to study your spouse.

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{ I love you Travis.  Thank you for always being my biggest fan, my best friend, my love and now my baby daddy!  Thank you for exceeding my expectations over these last 8 years.  I am so excited to see where the next 8 years take us… hopefully on a second honeymoon – wink wink!  In all seriousness, I love you and I love the life we share together. Thank you.  XOXO! }

Wishing you all beautiful and prosperous marriages!